Things I learned today

I like to learn. I set a goal for myself every single day: learn at least one new thing. At least one, and it can be anything. Just has to be something I didn't know when I lay my head on my pillow the night before. Here's what I learned today:

1.) When you're zipping across the parking lot at Wal-Mart...you know, sideways, ignoring all the parking lot lanes and arrows...you have the right-of-way. What? You didn't know that? I didn't either. I didn't think anybody with a semi-functioning brain thought that. Thankfully, the unnecessarily angry woman in the unnecessarily large vehicle laid on her horn to show me (the silly one following the lanes and arrows and normal traffic rules) the error of my ways.

2.) The Wal-Mart where I live is one of the unhappiest places on Earth. I gave it up cold-turkey at one point; I need to get to that point again.

3.) If there's a used Band-Aid on the floor of a fifth grade classroom, and the teacher is imploring someone to pick it up, it doesn't belong to any of the aforementioned fifth graders. It must've come from a ghost, because it surely didn't come from any of the fifth graders.
 
4.) A little shake-up in the daily grind is very often a good thing. I ain't turnin' it down.
 
5.) A joke, shared with me by one of my fellow teachers, told to him by a student:
          Boy: Dad, I'm cold!
          Dad: Well, go stand in the corner.
          Boy: I don't want to stand in the corner!
          Dad: It'll help if you're feeling cold.
          Boy: How?
          Dad: It's 90 degrees.
 
Clever, huh?! It takes a true math nerd to appreciate a good geometry joke :)
 
6.) If the arch of one's foot is hurting, walking 3 miles on said arch isn't going to make it better. In fact, it makes it much worse.
 
7.) Local muscadine wine is a true delight.
 
8.) Just the knowledge that I'm getting my hair cut this week is enough to put a smile on this simpleton's face. Doesn't take much.
 
9.) Glass jars of spaghetti sauce don't bounce. In fact, they shatter rather spectacularly. I learned this lesson from a little knee-high darling at Wal-Mart (see #2) who was not being supervised in a thorough manner.
 
10.) Mudcats may be one of the best reality shows ever created. I can't even explain what about it speaks to me; it just...does.